An elderly gentleman goes to apply for social security, the lady asks for his ID to prove age and he tells her he forgot it at home. She tells him, “that’s okay just unbutton the front of your shirt”. He does so and she tells him, “ah yes, I see all those gray hairs. Your approved.” The man goes home and tells his wife he will start getting his checks next month and told her how he forgot his ID at home and the woman verified his age by having him unbutton his shirt. The wife tells her husband, “heck, you should have undone your pants and you would have gotten disability too!”

A blonde city girl named Cathy marries a Colorado rancher. One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Cathy, ‘The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today, so I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above where the cow’s stall is in the barn.  Please show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?’ The rancher leaves for the fields.  After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door.  “I came to inseminate the cow,” he said. Cathy takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of cows, and when Cathy sees the nail, she tells him, ‘This is the one right here.’ The man, assuming he is dealing with an airhead blonde, asks, ‘Tell me, lady, ’cause I’m dying to know.  How would YOU know that this is the right cow to be bred?’ ‘That’s simple.” she said.  “By the nail that’s over its stall,’ she explains very confidently. Laughing rudely at her, the man says, ‘And what, pray tell, is the nail for?’

The blonde turns to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder,

“I guess it’s to hang your pants on,” she replied.